Picture walking into a packed bar on Friday night, finally catching the bartender’s attention, and ordering what seems like a perfectly reasonable drink. The next thing you know, you’re getting dirty looks, waiting forever for your order, or worse – being politely asked to reconsider your choice. Some drinks have earned a terrible reputation among bartenders and fellow patrons alike, and ordering them can instantly mark you as someone who doesn’t understand basic bar etiquette. Whether it’s because they’re dangerously strong, incredibly time-consuming to make, or just plain gross, these cocktails should stay off your order list if you want to maintain your dignity and avoid becoming the person everyone talks about for all the wrong reasons.
Long Island iced tea will ruin your night
This innocent-looking cocktail contains vodka, rum, gin, tequila, and triple sec all mixed together with a splash of cola. That’s essentially four or five shots worth of alcohol disguised as a single drink that goes down way too easily. Most people don’t realize they’re consuming enough alcohol to floor a linebacker until it’s too late. The sweet taste from the cola and triple sec masks the massive amount of booze, making it dangerously easy to drink too much too fast.
Bartenders know exactly what’s coming when someone orders this drink – they’re either looking to get blackout drunk quickly or they have no idea what they’re asking for. Either way, staff will monitor you closely for signs of overserving, and you might find yourself cut off after just one or two drinks. The combination of different spirits plus all that sugar creates the perfect storm for a brutal hangover that’ll have you swearing off alcohol for weeks.
Irish car bombs are offensive and dangerous
The name alone should be enough to steer you away from this drink forever. Coined in Connecticut during the late 1970s, it references a period of violence in Northern Ireland that killed and wounded thousands of people. Ordering this drink, especially at an Irish pub or anywhere in Ireland, is incredibly offensive and shows complete ignorance of history. Many bartenders will flat-out refuse to make it, and you’ll likely offend everyone within earshot who knows what the name refers to.
Even if you call it by a different name like “Irish slammer,” the drink itself creates problems. The Irish cream curdles quickly when mixed with the other ingredients, forcing you to chug the entire thing before it becomes completely gross. Dropping the shot glass into the pint can chip or crack either glass, creating a mess and potentially dangerous situation. It’s designed to get people drunk fast, which leads to poor decisions and even worse mornings.
Bloody marys at the wrong time spell disaster
Ordering a bloody mary at 10 PM on a Saturday night is like asking for a breakfast burrito at a sushi restaurant – technically possible but completely wrong. This drink belongs exclusively at brunch or early afternoon drinking sessions. Most bars don’t keep the specialized ingredients needed for a proper bloody mary on hand unless they regularly serve brunch. That can of tomato juice sitting in storage might be years old, and the horseradish has probably seen better days.
When bars aren’t set up for bloody marys, you’ll get a sad excuse for this classic cocktail made with whatever random ingredients the bartender can scrounge up. The garnishes will be wilted and pathetic, if they exist at all. You’ll wait forever while the bartender tries to figure out what goes in it, and the end result will taste like disappointment mixed with regret.
Cement mixers exist only to make you sick
Some drinks are designed to taste good, others are created specifically to be disgusting. The cement mixer falls squarely in the second category, made with Irish cream and lime juice that immediately curdle in your mouth, creating a texture that resembles chunky cottage cheese. It’s essentially a prank disguised as a shot, meant to make people gag and potentially vomit. No reasonable adult should willingly consume something that mimics the consistency of curdled milk.
Other gross-out shots with unprintable names follow the same principle – they’re designed for shock value and hazing rituals, not actual enjoyment. Bartenders hate making them because they know someone’s probably going to end up sick, creating more work and potential liability issues. These drinks belong in college dorms during questionable decision-making sessions, not in any establishment where adults are trying to have a civilized time.
Ramos gin fizz will slow down everything
This cocktail requires egg whites and an absurd amount of shaking – we’re talking about 10-12 minutes of continuous shaking to get the texture right. During those ten minutes, the bartender can’t make any other drinks, which means everyone else at the bar is waiting while you get your perfectly frothy cocktail. It’s like ordering a five-course meal at a fast-food drive-through – technically possible but completely inconsiderate to everyone else involved.
On a busy Friday night, ordering this drink will earn you death glares from both the bartender and fellow patrons who are watching their simple beer orders get delayed. Time is money in a crowded bar, and this drink brings service to a grinding halt. Save it for a quiet Tuesday afternoon when the bartender has nothing better to do than shake a cocktail until their arm falls off.
Mojitos require fresh ingredients most bars lack
A proper mojito needs fresh mint that’s been properly stored and recently delivered. Mint has a notoriously short shelf life and can harbor bacteria when it starts to go bad. Most bars that don’t specialize in mojitos keep a sad little container of brown, wilted mint leaves that look like they’ve given up on life. Using old mint doesn’t just make the drink taste bad – it can actually make you sick if the herbs have started to spoil.
Even with fresh mint, mojitos are incredibly time-consuming to make properly. The muddling process takes skill and patience, and the drink suffers if any step is rushed or done incorrectly. In a busy bar without proper preparation, your mojito will taste like disappointment with a side of brown leaf bits floating around in sugar water.
Frozen drinks create chaos in crowded spaces
Nothing kills the mood in a sophisticated cocktail lounge quite like the ear-splitting sound of a blender grinding away at ice for three minutes straight. Frozen drinks require noisy equipment that drowns out conversations, music, and any attempt at maintaining a civilized atmosphere. Imagine trying to have a romantic conversation while someone operates a construction tool right next to your table – that’s what ordering a frozen margarita does to everyone around you.
These drinks are also loaded with sugar and mixers that mask the taste of alcohol, making it easy to consume way more than intended. The sweetness hides how much you’re actually drinking until you try to stand up and realize you can barely walk. Plus, many bars don’t even have blenders readily available, so you’ll wait forever while they dig one out of storage and try to remember how it works.
White Russians use questionable dairy products
Any drink that requires cream or milk is a gamble unless you’re at a restaurant with a functioning kitchen that regularly stocks fresh dairy. Most bars don’t go through dairy products quickly enough to ensure freshness, which means that carton of cream sitting in the back of the fridge might be older than some of the bartenders working there. Spoiled dairy doesn’t just taste terrible – it can make you seriously ill and ruin your entire night.
Sports bars, dive bars, and beer-focused establishments are particularly risky places to order dairy-based cocktails. The dairy might not even be safe to consume, having sat in questionable storage conditions for who knows how long. Unless you see these drinks prominently featured on the menu or notice other people successfully ordering them, stick to something that won’t potentially send you to the emergency room.
Flaming shots can literally burn you
Playing with fire and alcohol in a crowded bar is about as smart as juggling chainsaws during a earthquake. Flaming shots might look impressive on social media, but they’re genuinely dangerous when handled by inexperienced bartenders or consumed by intoxicated people. The shot glass absorbs heat from the flames, which means you’re essentially putting a tiny piece of hot metal against your lips. Burns are common, and they’re definitely not worth the few seconds of visual appeal.
Most responsible establishments won’t make flaming shots because of liability issues and safety concerns. People regularly burn themselves on the heated glass, and accidents involving open flames and alcohol rarely end well. The “wow factor” isn’t worth the risk of third-degree burns on your face or starting a fire that evacuates the entire building.
Nobody wants to be remembered as the person who caused a scene, held up service, or worse – got themselves or others hurt because of a poor drink choice. Stick to classics that bartenders can make quickly and safely, especially when the bar is crowded or the staff seems overwhelmed. Your night out should be memorable for the right reasons, not because you ended up as a cautionary tale about what not to order when you’re trying to have a good time.
